5 Reasons You Might Feel Out of Control Around Food (And What to Do About It)

For many people (especially those healing from disordered eating or a history of chronic dieting) feeling out of control around food can be a daily reality. It often brings up shame, frustration, and a sense of “What’s wrong with me?”

As dietitians, we see this often. And we want you to know: you’re not alone, and there is nothing wrong with you.

In this blog, we explore five common (and often missed) reasons why you might feel out of control around food and how gently reconnecting with your body can support you in rebuilding trust and finding more ease with eating.

1. You’re Restricting Food (Even If It Doesn’t Feel Like It)

Restriction doesn’t always look like skipping meals. Sometimes it’s subtle: like choosing the lowest-calorie option when you’re still hungry, delaying meals, or mentally labelling foods as “off-limits.”

But here’s the thing: your body is wired for survival. If you're not eating enough, your biological hunger cues will kick in hard-often leading to intense cravings, binge eating, or preoccupation with food.

Relevant read: What Happens When You Stop Weighing Yourself? 6 Benefits for Body Image and Eating Disorder Recovery

2. You’re LabelLing Foods as "Good" or "Bad"

When we add moral value to food, we create internal food rules that often trigger the “forbidden fruit” effect. Labelling food as “bad” increases the emotional charge around it and when we do eat it, it often comes with guilt, shame, or a “well I’ve ruined the diet now, I may as well eat it all” mentality.

This is part of what's called the binge-restrict cycle, common for those intentionally restricting intake or following particular diets.

Letting go of food rules can bring more calm and ease to eating.

3. Food is Your Only Emotional Coping Strategy

First, let’s be clear: emotional eating isn’t inherently bad. Food is connection, comfort, and culture. It’s okay to eat emotionally.

The problem arises when it’s our only tool. When food is our sole strategy for dealing with stress, sadness, boredom, or loneliness, it can feel like it’s taking over.

What helps? Diversifying your emotional coping tools, from journaling and walking to calling a friend or chatting to a psychologist. Having additional tools can help you feel more empowered and less reliant on food to meet every need.

4. You’re beating yourself up for Eating

Shame is not a strategy. Getting frustrated for eating “too much” or “the wrong thing” doesn’t lead to behaviour change, it leads to guilt, and often, more of the same patterns.

Instead of control, what we need is compassion. Being kind to yourself after eating is not “giving up.” Practice saying: “I deserve to eat. My body is worthy of care.”

5. You Think You Should Be in Control of Your Body

Many people think the goal is to have total control over what, when, and how much they eat. But this kind of hyper-control creates disconnect, and moves us further away from being able to listen to what our body truely needs.

Rebuilding body trust involves tuning in rather than managing or overriding our internal cues.

When we begin to trust that our body knows how to guide us, food becomes less of a source of stress and more of a way to care for ourselves with respect and compassion.

How to Start Rebuilding Trust with Food

Rebuilding trust in your body and improving your relationship with food is not about willpower or discipline, it’s about gently undoing the harm that diet culture, chronic restriction, and disordered eating patterns have caused. It's a process of reconnection, not control.

Here are a few foundational strategies to begin with:

1. Practice Regular Eating

When you’re stuck in the binge-restrict cycle, it’s common to go long periods without eating, either intentionally or because you’ve learned to override your hunger cues.

Eating consistently throughout the day, roughly every 3-4 hours, helps stabilise blood sugar, regulate appetite hormones, and rebuild the body’s sense of safety.

Tip: Start by setting reminders to eat regularly, even if you're not feeling “hungry enough.” This can help us to reconnect with hunger and fullness cues.

2. Challenge Unhelpful Food Rules

Many of us hold onto unconscious food rules, like “I shouldn’t eat carbs multiple times a day” or “sugar is bad”. These rules often stem from diet culture, and can increase food obsession, guilt, and disordered behaviours.

Ask yourself:

Where did this rule come from?
Does it actually support my wellbeing?
Is this actually a fact?

A non-diet dietitian can support you to identify and gently challenge these beliefs, helping you make food choices that align with flexibility and nourishment, not fear.

3. Develop Alternate Coping Strategies

Food can absolutely be a source of comfort and that’s okay. But if it’s the only way we know to manage difficult emotions, we may feel dependent on it in ways that don’t actually help us cope long-term.

Some alternative coping strategies might include:

Journaling
Calling a friend or support person
Engaging in a calming activity (knitting, walking, drawing, reading)
Mindful movement or stretching/ yoga

Working with a psychologist can help build a fuller toolkit for emotional regulation.

Related Reading: Why do I eat when I am stressed?

4. Learn to Recognise and Reject Diet Culture Messaging

Diet culture is everywhere, on social media, in medical systems, even in conversations with family or friends. It teaches us to distrust our hunger, feel like we need to control our weight constantly, and ignore our body’s natural cues.

One powerful step toward eating disorder recovery is learning to recognise these messages. We can then chose to ignore, redirect, unfollow and understand that subscribing to this kind of messaging is sending us back in the opposite direction.

5. Work With a Supportive Care Team

Healing your relationship with food is not a solo journey. It’s often deeply intertwined with past experiences, trauma, mental health, and identity.

At The Whole Being Co., our dietitians work collaboratively with psychologists, GPs, and other health professionals to provide holistic, client-centred care.

Whether you’re in the early stages of eating disorder recovery, exploring intuitive eating, or simply trying to eat without shame, you deserve support.

Want Support in Rebuilding Body Trust?

If you’re ready to stop feeling out of control around food and start building a peaceful, nourishing relationship with your body, our team is here for you. A TWC eating disorder dietitian can guide you every step of the way. Book an appointment today with one of our experienced eating disorder dietitians and take the first step toward reclaiming your health and well-being.